The Vocab Game
by ChristianGateFan
Summary: Latest: Daniel's done it again, and now he's four...but for how long? That's what Jack would like to know. This is what comes of being forced to write stories with vocabulary words at school, LOL. Various shorts with different vocab lists. All Oneshots.
1. Jack and Big Words

Well, this past week was the first full week of school, and I found out that every week I'll be having to write a shorty story using all ten or fifteen of my vocabulary words. Since I've been writing Stargate all summer I couldn't think of anything else immediatly, so this is what came out for this first week. It's mostly nonsense, but fun nonsense, so I thought I'd post it. I left the vocubulary words underlined for your amusement. If any more of my vocab papers turn out to be Stargate, I'll just put them here as added chapters to this story--a collections of shorts, sort of. So anyway, even if its not goo,d I hope you get a laugh, and if you want to leave a review, I'd be happy. :) Thanks!

The Vocab Game

Daniel sighed as Janet finished meticulously patching up Jack's head, scolded him yet again, and moved on to her other patients. "And _this_ is what comes of too much temerity for one day," he shook his head.

Jack glanced at him and crossed his arms. "Hey, you're the one who's always getting hurt."

Sam piped up from where she stood beside Daniel. "That may be true, sir, but when _he_ gets hurt, it's not because of recklessness," she reminded him with a slight smile.

"I though it was because of temerity."

"That is the same thing, O'Neill," Teal'c observed.

"It is?"

The three of them nodded.

"Oh…I knew that."

"Sure you did," Daniel smirked. That was why he'd used it. It was so much fun to confuse Jack. Not to mention that picking extraneous words out of his mind was fun and challenging in the first place.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Now why are the three of you still here? Just because the doc's making me stay overnight doesn't mean you guys have to hang around."

"What if we want to spice up a usually insipid stay in the infirmary?"

"Or maybe we're just gregarious," Sam smiled, catching onto Daniel's game.

The colonel blinked a few times, but refused to admit it if he didn't know the meaning of any word. "Uh huh. Are you trying to coerce me?"

No, not really. Well, yes. They were only having fun, but it would be even more fun if he actually asked them the meaning of something.

"Are we?" Daniel asked lightly, refusing to divulge anything.

"I think you are," Jack nodded with dogmatic certainty.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Are you certain? Perhaps you are just jaundiced, O'Neill."

"After all, sir, you did just get caught in a rock slide. That could make someone a little angry," Sam added.

The colonel stared at her. "What?" Then he looked at Daniel. "What?"

Daniel held back a laugh and raised his hands in front of him. "Don't look at me. I won't abet her."

"But you started it!" Sam scoffed.

"Started _what_!" Jack cried in frustration.

"Never mind," Daniel sighed, shaking his head. He caught Sam's eye, and she rolled her eyes and smiled.

Jack huffed. "This has got to stop."

"What, sir?"

"The whole ganging up on me thing."

"If you say so, Jack."


	2. The Lockup

Hey ya'll. :) Well, this week the words were very much different. It did turn out to be Stargate, though this one is shorter and not completely nonsense...though it _is_ still supposed to be funny, mostly. And just so you know, I 'tried' to come up with a way to make it all one story and still use the vocab words...but it didn't work. And this situation fit the group of words perfectly, so...well, you'll see what I mean.

Again, I have left my vocabulary words underlined to add to the humor. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope to hear from ya'll what ya think. :) Thanks! hugs

Round 2

Daniel started to test the bars again, but the lively little old jail keeper on the other side quickly jumped off of his stool to castigate him, raising the attention of the motley crew of prisoners in the other cells. Daniel raised his hands and retreated with a sigh, turning to face Vala, who was trying to hide a snicker.

He glared at her. "Congratulations; you've done it again."

"Oops."

Considering she probably had no idea what pop culture joke she had just made, Daniel only rolled his eyes. What she had managed to do, however--having the both of them locked up for heresy--was something he couldn't ignore so easily.

"Well, excuse me," she said in response to the eye roll, arms crossed. "How was I supposed to know I'd make myself an anathema just because I'm not in a skirt? Exploring unknown planets has its dangers, you know."

"Well, you didn't have to drag me down with you. It _was_ rather gauche to start stomping their religion in the middle of the town square, you know."

"They believe in the Ori! They trust that those beings will ascend them when they die, and focus their attentions on useless worship and studying that book; they ignore the need right in front of their eyes! Did you see those poor emaciated people in the shadows of the square? They need help. _All_ of them need to know the truth!" Vala exclaimed in exasperation, throwing her hand sup in the air.

"And I agree with you on that! But if we could do it without the ignominy and _being put in jail_, it would make me and everyone else a whole lot happier."

Vala, hardly docile, wouldn't let the banter die there. "Well, what else are we supposed to do? Hand out flyers?"

Daniel snorted. "It would be better than your method. What ever happened to diplomacy?"

"Why do we need diplomacy at a time like this? Those people are being used!"

"_I _know that, and _you_ know that, but yelling at them isn't going to make them see it," Daniel said more calmly.

"Then what are we supposed to do?"

He sighed. "I'm not sure yet."

Vala groaned and sank down to sit against the wall, head in her arm atop her knees. "I need a libation."

"What?"

"Never mind."


	3. War March

Yikes. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but we were up to other things in English class and weren't doing vocabulary. And then there was one other one I did which I haven't gotten back yet so I can type it up. I should have that here later this week though. And just so you know...not all of them will end up funny. Sometimes I'm in a serious mood...But anyway, I hope you still enjoy these shorts and the vocab words in them, lol. Here's the latest! I can't wait to hear from you. :) Thanks!

Round 3

The inexorable moment had arrived. The ships were ready for flight, and the soldiers were ready for battle--even her usually diffident husband. The lack of disparity in the attitudes of the people of the village was suffocating. 'Everyone' was rooting for the conversion or destruction of the unbelievers in the distant galaxy their men were about to travel to. Their rancor was almost palpable as they lined the main street to extol the soldiers on their way off.

It all felt like on big cliché. Right now, Vala's life could have come out of a war story. Well, except for the being nine months pregnant with a child planted in her by the Ori part.

In all honesty, she hadn't expected to be allowed on the ship Tomin had been assigned to. Yet the prior hadn't given it a second thought when he asked their permission for her to come. Ostensibly, she was being allowed because of the 'knowledge of the people of the other galaxy' she'd told them she had gained from using that communication device. Yet she couldn't help feeling that it had something, if not everything to do with the child inside her.

Vala hefted the small bag that had been the only thing Tomin would let her carry, and followed her husband out of the village. They joined the ranks of soldiers marching adamantly toward the clearing that contained the warships--their opus. One last time, before they were too far away, she turned to look at the house that had been her home with Tomin for so many months.

She didn't expect to ever see it again. Strangely enough, she felt she would miss it. Or maybe it wasn't so strange.

She couldn't help remembering the short days she had spent in a similar house in a similar village with Daniel almost a year ago now. And then she couldn't help worrying about him. There wasn't a clement bone on these soldiers' bodies, except maybe for Tomin. Vala didn't want _either_ of them to perish in useless battle.

Finally she realized that she was falling behind, and that Tomin was gently urging her along. Vala sighed heavily and turned to face the future.


	4. The End

Yay! I finally got back my other paper I never got to typer up before. Well, I'll warn you beforehand, that if that last one was a little sad and thoughtful, this one is downright depressing. It's everything-goes-wrong. Yikes! Etc. But really do hope you'll read it, and _please_ do review so i know wht ya think. :) Thanks!

Round 4

It was chaos. Everything was falling apart. They'd tried to reason with the Ori and their followers, tried to appease them…but nothing had worked. The Ori would not stop until they were absolutely certain that all who opposed them or did not worship them as gods had been expunged.

The bigots.

The Ori followers had infiltrated the Milky Way, preaching their 'religion' and spreading the argot of Origin, gathering more followers. At times they had pretended to be peaceful, but when they had realized that there were just as many who were not accepting their message, they had become much more aggressive. Now the people of the SGC were, in the battle of a lifetime, just to keep control of their own galaxy.

At first, it had only been a few ships. Chulak had fallen first, then Dakar. Then more ships had arrived through the supergate to augment the Ori army, and they had come after Earth. They could have simply blown it to kingdom come like the others, but in their jingoism, they had sent in ground forces to capture the key aggravators--SG-1. They had surrounded the mountain, and all but called them out.

With the strange army around Cheyenne Mountain, the explosions in the sky, and the Ori ships in orbit visible even from the ground, there was no hiding it from the general populace. So when the Ori army had come forward in attack, Stargate Command had been free to defend itself--unsuccessfully.

That was why Daniel was here, on the ground outside the mountain, wondering what they could have done differently. Had it been negligence? No. They had done everything they could. Lying there, trying to staunch the blood flow from the gaping wound in his side, Daniel had to be candid with himself.

It was his fault--all if it. Maybe Vala had been there too, and she had been the one to alert the people of the Ori galaxy that something wasn't quite normal about them, by their standards…but that didn't matter. He had been the one who wanted to test that communication device in the first place. It was thanks to him that the Ori had ever discovered there were humans in this galaxy.

It was thanks to him that Earth would fall.

The strident tone of another energy blast rung in Daniel's ear, but when it didn't make him wince, he realized he was fading. His vision was going fuzzy and dark. There was a cry of pain above him that seemed faint. A heavy thump sounded beside him, and he managed to twist his head enough to look.

It was Vala, fallen like him, but already dead. Her empty eyes stared out, never again to look at him with that mischievous twinkle.

What was left of Daniel's mind couldn't even register the sorrow that should have been there.

It was only emptiness.

Somehow he thought to look up for what had hit her, and saw the Ori soldier turn the staff weapon on him now. His gaze wandered weakly to the man's eyes. It made the soldier hesitate a moment--but only that--before scowling angrily and firing.

Daniel closed his eyes.


	5. Little Weirdness

Well, finally got a good list of words to write an SG-1 fic with. Just as random infor, I picked this to be season three just for the heck of it, lol. Have fun!

Round 5

I'm trying hard not to laugh. I really am. But it's kind of hard when a little face too darn cute to be legal is balking up at you with an expression you're used to seeing on a thirty-three-year-old man. It seems that Daniel finds his métier in getting into trouble.

"Well…isn't this a perfect fiasco?" I grumble. And I am annoyed. Some. But right now the humor of the whole situation is getting to me more than it probably should.

"It's not _my_ fault," Daniel insists, little-kid face scrunching into an inscrutable expression.

"Would you like to expound on that?" I really don't blame it. I know it wasn't. But listening to him argue with the body and voice of a four-year-old is just too darn fun. I go for displaying a little bit of acrimony at him for getting us into more crap, but it doesn't work. I settle on sticking with annoyed.

The kid--and I can't help thinking that way, looking at him--crosses his arms. "I'm not the one who tripped on the statue's foot and knocked the device off the altar, Jack."

Okay, true, but really. "You should have warned me it was there!"

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not omniscient!"

"Oh, for cryin' out loud…" I'm still trying to figure out a feasible possible reason why the thing I knocked off when I tripped changed him in the first place. Not to mention that I'm still trying not to laugh out loud at the poor guy. The last thing I need is for my size-fluctuating archaeologist to be harrying me.

But after that, there's an uncomfortable silence until I break it. "Uhm, yeah…so anyway, we should probably go find Carter and Teal'c and start working on…well, you know, fixing this."

"No!" he exclaims suddenly.

I look at him strangely. "You wanna be four?"

"No! I mean…no. I mean, I don't them to see me like this." Daniel looks down at himself, draped in his black t-shirt and green jacket. They reach to the floor on him, and his pants, which he couldn't keep on no matter how hard he tried, have been abandoned a few feet away where he finally got frustrated enough and just stepped out of them after waddling around for a couple of minutes ranting about the whole situation.

I raise an eyebrow. "You can't stay _here_."

"I know that, Jack, thank you," he huffs. "I mean, just let me look at the thing. Maybe it's simple. The language does look a little familiar…"

"Is anything ever simple though?" I comment. He gives me a look, so I sigh. "Fine. Have it your way. You've got an hour until we're supposed to meet at the 'gate anyway. If you're not six feet tall again by then, we're bringing that thing and heading back to the SGC. Deal?"

Daniel rolls his eyes and heaves a big sigh, obviously trying to show me that he's still very much any adult, but it comes out making him seemed even more childish. "Fine," he sighs. "Deal."

I can't help but snicker, and he gives me a dour expression. I hold up my hands and take a couple of steps back, "Okay, shutting up. Go…translate your thingy."

He is sooo not happy about this being a little kid thing--and he's only been that way for about ten minutes. I gotta admit, I was a little scared when that bright white beam shot outta that little round device I knocked off the alter-like thing. It hit Daniel right in the chest, and he yelled, and then I couldn't see…

Well, I found out about a minute later what it did, and that he'd only shouted in surprise, but of course, when it hit him I assumed the worst. I kept right on assuming it until the light died down and I had a bite-sized Daniel on my hands.

I walk around the inside of the small temple, looking at all the little squiggles I wouldn't be able to read to save my life and tilting my head at them. I do that for about twenty minutes, leaving Daniel alone to do his thing--though I'm pretty sure that he won't figure it out like, right now; when stuff like this happens it's _never_ that easy to fix--when suddenly there's a flash of light behind me.

"Daniel!" Heart jumping, I spin around quickly, thinking that he must have done something to make it worse, or maybe even--well, no need to jump to conclusions.

Instead, I'm looking at my own six-foot archaeologist--with no pants on.

"Ya!" I turn around again, and hear Daniel yelp at the same moment and quickly pick up said pants and pull them on. After a moment he clears his throat, and I assume it's safe to turn back around again.

I do, but at the same time I end up with my mouth hanging open stupidly. I can't figure out how he did it.

"What?" he asks uncomfortably, straightening his shirt and jacket out again.

"How….how did you--?"

Daniel shrugs and interrupts me. "It can't always be complicated." And he picks up his pack and the device and heads for the door pronto.

I start after him. "Okay, that's just wrong on so many levels," I mumble. But he hears me, and now he's frowning in that thoughtful way.

"Have we really been doing this so long….?" He doesn't have to finish the thought, and we look at each other.

"Maybe we outta leave that thing here," I suggest, pointing to the small round device in his hand.

Daniel quickly sets it down on the nearest flat surface. "Good idea." Then he books it, and I follow as quickly as my bothersome knees will allow.


End file.
